He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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