it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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