her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My life is pants optional.
I party with great urgency now.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
