Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
