he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
