Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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