If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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