I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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