Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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