Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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