I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
