do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
