I looked at my own cervix.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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