do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
