Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
