A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
