my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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