That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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