When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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