Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
