This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
