The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
