No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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