You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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