Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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