video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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