I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
