I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You were trust falling into bushes
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
