he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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