Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
