I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
