i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
