I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
