I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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