If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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