I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
