Plan B is the new Plan A
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
