I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
