brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
