K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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