Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
