Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
