I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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