Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
