If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
