Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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