I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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