You work out of a Hotel?
Screwed.edu
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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