So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
