It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
