I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
